i admit som parts were quite hillarious, as i fanally read all of it!! (i'm at wrk trying to look busy..) "I almost choked on my muffin (that sounds bad). This led me to lapse into oddest momentary daydream of Dumb Ass incorrectly performing the Heimlich Maneuver on me, in the process badly bruising my sternum. Then I imagined Dumb Ass performing CPR on me, punching my bruised sternum as hard as he can in hopes of reviving me. By the time my mind had wandered to Dumb Ass leaning over to administer mouth to mouth, I was overcome by disgust, jolting myself completely out of the dream sequence."
I reckon he needs to take his head out of his own ass and listen to himself. Out of all the people he mentions in the story, he's the only one with an attitude problem.